“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,

Love like you’ll never be hurt,

Sing like there’s nobody listening,

And live like it’s heaven on earth.”

William W. Purkey

Now listen, I’m realistic. I knew this is hard to do, it’s great advice, but it is hard to do every day. But, if you try every day to live this way, your day each day may be better.

The truth is, you will get hurt if you love with your whole heart. It’s just bound to happen, but you will pick yourself back up again.

I had a person on a live chat today ask me if they should be friends with their ex, even though they still have feelings for them. My answer was ‘no,’ I told them that I felt like they would be blocking their blessing if they continued that friendship. I know plenty of people that can be friends with their exes but not if they still have feelings.

Live life to your fullest, love to your fullest, and live as every moment counts.

I hope this is the best Tuesday you have this week!

When I was deciding to move to California, I had a lot of choices to make. I was up for a job as a chef in Florida, which I got, but the money wasn’t what I needed. For the first time in my life, I did not take it because I knew I was worth more, plus I knew that going back to Florida would defeat what I had fought for the years that I was in Massachusetts. The chances that I’d find a partner in Florida were slim, California has more to offer. I had to choose a path; I chose the more challenging course. I remember sitting in a restaurant with my father, and he said to me, ‘What are you going to do if it doesn’t work out?” I blurted out, “There is no choice; it has to work out.”

When the path reveals itself, follow it.

Cheryl Strayed

I was not successful all the time. I had MANY rough moments the past five years while trying to find my way. And, that is what makes life more interesting.

Life will have many ups and downs, learn to embrace and love them. Also, I believe that you know in your heart what the right path is.

Have the best Monday ever!

If you know me, you know that I post a quote almost every day on my Tik Tok, it’s a quick, simple thing that I do every morning before I open up my computer for work. I often wish that I would give myself time to go deeper with the quotes, my thought, etc. So, I’ve decided that I’m going to do that more on this blog. So, here we go!

It’s not the mountain that we conquer but ourselves.

Sir Edmund Hillary

We are often our worst enemy, if anyone knows this, it’s me. I’ve spent years thinking I was struggling with other people, but really it’s myself that I needed to conquer. The truth is that other people can get to you, but only if you let them.

Folks, it’s taken me 47 years to figure this out. While yes, it sucks to be treated in a bad way, it’s really how you react to it that is what matters. I believe that it’s all about your attitude and how you let it effect you.

As silly as it looks, if you need to look in the mirror in the morning and tell yourself you are awesome, do it. Cause you are awesome. If you need to visualize winning a race, or writing your first book, or conquering your worst fear, do it.

I often feel like I’ve let myself be robbed of many years because I’ve allowed the negative self-talk to get to conquer me. And, the negative self- talk is really the mountain that I’m interpreting this quote to mean.

It’s Saturday, go for a walk, kiss a loved one, read a book, go to a movie. Take care of yourself today because you deserve it!

These are challenging times for a hypochondriac. The end is always one sneeze away, but the pandemic has made that even more of a challenge. Since the pandemic, I go out in the world, a few days later I’m home and a sore throat, body chills begin. I go get tested. The good news is that there is a testing spot five minutes from my house for free. I wait patiently for the results to come in, and I’m negative.

This scenario transpired over the last few days, but this time my results came back inconclusive. Luckily, my husband tests every Monday and he was negative; his test not his attitude, so we are good.

Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities. Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you can’t be successful or happy.

Alan Cohen

When I get sick, the plant-based diet goes out the window. I was craving fried chicken; hey it’s the southern boy in me. I searched for the best-fried chicken place within a few miles. We ended up with more chicken thighs and biscuits than we needed.

Tomorrow is a new day. A day to get back on track, walk more steps, read more and write more. I believe in myself and you.

My husband calls me KING. It’s become our pet name for each other. The other day I got off the scale and rushed into the bedroom and said, “I’m down to 215lbs.”

“KING!” he proclaims and then makes this motion of putting a crown on my head. It’s adorable and just what I need in my life. I need positive self-talk, and the truth is, I know I’m far from a King. But, now, when I get up in the morning, I look in the mirror, and I smile at my reflection, and I say, “You are skinny, Ron!” I repeat it over and over again, and I tell myself how skinny I am. It’s comforting, but it would probably really look strange if anyone else saw it.

“Convince yourself everyday that you are worthy of a good life. Let go of stress, breathe. Stay positive, all is well.”

Germany Kent

The other day, after giving my husband a haircut, he called me King again. I said, “Do most kings cut hair? Do most kings have to cook dinner?” I like to joke around that I’m a King/Barber/Chef/Garbage taker outer. Most Kings are more than just Kings, but I imagine them sitting on the throne and having beautiful people bringing them grapes and feeding them to them one at a time. I don’t imagine kings have to set their alarm for 5:15 am to be at their computers for work. I imagine that they can lay in bed as long as they want, and as soon as they get out of bed, there is a manservant (I’m, of course, a gay King), there to lay the King’s slippers out. I imagine a king has an entourage, and if they want bonbons or even that spicy chicken sandwich from Popeyes, they don’t have to wait. It’s just right there waiting for them.

I’m not a King to the rest of the world, just my husband, and that is fine. The truth is that the stress of expectations with being a King would be too much for me. But, it’s nice to be called it. I hope you find a husband, wife, dog, cat, whatever you want who is kind enough to make you feel like a King or Queen every day. We all deserve that.

I’m feeling very nostalgic, melancholy lately; it happens to me on Sunday mornings. I wake up, my husband goes to church, I light a candle, read a book, and get lost in my thoughts. I’m sure people wonder why I don’t go to church with my husband, and the truth is that spirituality is different for me. It’s a peaceful, introverted thing. It’s coffee, thoughts, candles on a gloomy Sunday. Let me be clear, the gloom is outside; it’s not in my heart. I feel more alive, more clear than I have in years.

If there is one thing I’ve learned with age is that we have a choice. This may be simplified, it may be too idealistic for you, but it works for me. We do have a choice with how we see things. We can constantly be bogged down by how miserable our lives are. I can easily say, ‘my life sucks; I have very little money, no savings, etc.’

Or I can change the narrative, ‘I have a good job, a husband that loves me, I’m discovering how to take care of myself, a passion for food, for discovering good things in life.’

True freedom is understanding that we have a choice in who and what we allow to have power over us.

Meryl Streep.

Both of those are true, but if I live in the first narrative and not the second, my life will continue to seem bleak, harsh, etc.

I’ve been working hard on myself; okay, we don’t need to talk about my drunken night in West Hollywood on Thursday; I can’t be perfect all the time. Each day I wake up and write a quote down, I do my morning videos (you can find them on Tik Tok under the name @yourbestieron.) I try to walk at least 8k steps a day, drink water, and eat as close to plant-based as possible. My sugar is down, my weight is down, my life is getting better. I don’t have it all figured out, but I know that making consistent steps each day helps.

True freedom is also realizing that everything is temporary. This job, this apartment, these clothes, they are all temporary. Your life can, and does, change in an instant. You never know what is next; we can plan, but the truth is nothing is promised, and no matter how much you plan for something, things change.

My wish for you this Sunday morning is that you choose your own freedom, and that is peace and positivity.

I’ve thought a lot recently about meditation, about just sitting and being. With my cell phone constantly at my side, it’s complicated. The way my anxious mind works, I need to be by my phone. I don’t want to miss anything. A call about work, a call about a loved one, a call from a friend: I don’t know, my brain makes up many different reasons why I’ll get a call. The truth is, I get very few calls or messages that need to be dealt with right away. I know that part of my nervous system is shot; like that woman at the homeopathic pharmacy told me, I don’t ever let myself rest.

My husband goes to church on Sundays, and I often say that I use that time for spiritual reasons, reading a book, writing, etc. The truth is, I usually use that time on Tik Tok, Facebook, or Twitter. I’m addicted to my phone. So, today I decided that I’d try something new. I love to read, but I don’t have the concentration to do it these days. Since my husband is at church, and I know he doesn’t have his phone on, I hate to imagine the shame his reverend would make him feel if his phone rang during service. I knew I could turn my phone off for an hour, and it would be okay. I told myself, ‘self, you are going to turn your phone off for an hour, read your kindle and not look at your Fitbit until Alexa goes off and tells you the hour is up.’ I circled up with a brand new book by Matt Haig called ‘The Comfort Book,’ it’s a book about life; it’s self-described as messy, and I read sixty percent of it in the hour.

I loved reading when I was a child; I could get lost in a used book store for hours. Books are the gateway to the world, I believe, and every year I say I’m going to read more than I have ever read before, but I rarely do it. The hour went by, I did get up once to use the restroom and make another cup of coffee, but I was amazed how much time an uninterrupted hour is. I want to do it once a day; I need to find the time where I turn everything off but my kindle or an actual book and just read. As much as reading isn’t pure silence, there is something meditative about it, I found myself taking many deep breaths while I was reading, and once I let myself chill, I enjoyed it.

So, turn your phone off, the world will go on!

One of our friends told us that they have free coffee in the clubhouse and we should check it out. At 9:30 A.M., stumbling and blurry-eyed, we walked out of our apartment, masked up, of course, and walked to the clubhouse. First, I know it sounds very bougie that we live in a place that has a clubhouse, but I don’t consider myself that bougie. I’m a bougie wannabe. I’m a bougie without the wallet to back it up. I’m a fake bougie. We got to the clubhouse, and the door was locked, someone let us in, and we asked if there was coffee. They pointed us to the coffee machine, ‘over there’, they said, and then walked away. It felt like we were a nuisance. I put my coffee yeti on the bottom and read the instructions. Then I saw that it said that the trashbin needed to be emptied. A maintenance guy walked in at the same time. We said, ‘sir’ about three times before he would answer us. Finally, as he walked up the stairs, he responded by saying ‘it doesn’t work’ and walked away.

On the way home, my husband and I said good morning to two of the cleaning crew, and neither acknowledged us. I haven’t just noticed it here though, I see it everywhere. I feel like people are just tired and don’t care anymore, and it’s very frustrating.

It doesn’t take much to be kind, to say hello to someone when you walk by them. To nod your head, open the door, be friendly. Listen, here is the thing that irks me the most, you are at work; any job that where you come in contact with people is a customer service job. It should be part of your job to be friendly to people. It should be the number one thing that you teach your staff—a pre-requisite. Like before you get promoted to being around a customer, you have to take a friendly test.

Maybe I’m overreacting. I’ve been in customer service my whole life, and I get it. There are days when I’m not happy, and I don’t want to be friendly to people, but we are all put here on this planet, and we should do the best we can to make it as pleasant of an experience as possible.

Thank you for coming to my Saturday morning Ted Talk. Now go out in the world and be friendly, damnit!

I’ve discovered that going on a walk during lunchtime is the best thing for me. It makes me do it; it also gives me more pool time later in the day. I need to schedule it from now on, which I’m going to do. It’s easier now that my husband is out of the house during the week right now. So, I eat lunch at my desk around 11 am and then go for an hour’s walk with my friend Karen at noon.

Now I need my blood sugar to step up and do the right thing. I’ve been careful about my eating, so I’m not sure why it’s been bad this week. Now, when I say bad, I mean not under 120. My average for the day today was 160, which is not great. But, I will get there. I have faith.

I didn’t want to turn this blog into me talking every day about much blood sugar and health, but there are days that it will happen. I need to spend this year learning to take care of myself, including this kind of venting. As long as I get myself into a routine, I’ll be good.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night again; I think I will test my blood sugar tonight if that happens and see what it is like. Maybe that will help me figure this out.

Okay, till tomorrow!

You need to get a partner who will rub your feet at the end of the day. It’s those simple things that make life special. No matter the lack of sleep, moody or exhausted I get, I always have that at the end of the day; for that, I am grateful.

Also, push yourself. My Fitbit said that I had like five and a half hours of sleep last night. I was miserable this morning, but I forced myself to walk during lunch, and it rejuvenated me. My sugar was high this morning, over two hundred again, but I got it down to one hundred and fifteen this afternoon.

We got this.

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