On Monday or Tuesday this week, my friend, Karen (let’s not hold that against her), asked me if I would go with her to a homeopathic store in Santa Monica. I told her I would because why not? We were mainly going for her ailments and not mine.

We arrived, and Karen went first. She doesn’t even know I’m writing this, so I’m not going to tell you what was wrong with her. But, man, she is messed up. I’m kidding, but I want her to read this and laugh, so I’m keeping it. Although we are all messed up, so there is some bit of truth.

I stepped up to the counter, and I got this sense of quiet come over me. Listen, I think there is a lot wrong with me; I imagine a lot of us feel this way, but after seeing Karen go, I felt like this woman was peering into my soul, and who the hell wants that? I told her that I have diabetes and that I have a hard time sleeping. I’ve had a hard time sleeping since I was a kid. I’ve always been afraid of noises at night; it was so bad when I was a kid that my twin brother had to sleep with a bat underneath his bed to feel like I was protected. I honestly think that I’ve been effed up since before I was even born, but we don’t have time for that right now.

What was striking about this woman was that she got quiet and analyzed you, as a medium would. She said to me, ‘Your problem isn’t your adrenals. It’s your nervous system. You are a 4 out of 10; your nervous system is shot.’ She asked me my last A1C, and I told her it’s high, but the time before that, I got it down to 6.7, and I told her that my goal was to do the same again.

She said that she would like to see my lab work, and I started to open it up on my phone, and she was like, ‘I don’t have enough time for this today but let’s do it again when you come back in.’ She gave me two medications that I’m supposed to drop over my tongue multiple times a day. One was for blood sugar, and one was for anxiety.

Karen and I walked out of the place, and I looked at her, and I said, ‘That woman had me almost in tears; I felt like she saw me.’

If you didn’t know this before, my name is Ron, and I’m a very anxious person. I hope this works, but the truth is, I took the medication last night, and I had a horrible sleep, plus my sugar was a little higher this morning than it has been the last week or so.

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