Mimosas and regret

I’ve pretty much been pretending that I don’t have diabetes the past month and not paying attention to my body and taking care of myself, and that is going to change this month. This will be the month that I take my health back, barring any insurrections or civil wars. It may all be off if that stuff happens again. Can you believe that we are only one freaking month into this year? Last month felt like an entire year.

Yesterday I didn’t do anything, except eat a bunch of sweets that I shouldn’t have. So this is going to be the month that I walk, and I watch what I eat. I’m only going to allow myself to drink one day a week.

Obviously, we all had good intentions before January 6th, but as soon as people started storming the capital, I reached for a bottle of grey goose. I shouldn’t give things like that the pullover me to make me do things that I shouldn’t.

There was one glimmer of normalcy, and that was this weekend. My husband’s niece, who is probably reading this, just turned 21 on Tuesday. The restaurants opened up, and we had to take her to brunch. Y’all, let me repeat, we HAD to take her to brunch. It was fun. People were out. Mimosa’s were flowing, as well as a shot of grey goose. It was almost like a pandemic hadn’t happened, except for the face shields and social distancing. After brunch, we went to Carlos Bakery and got cannoli’s, a pie cake in (yup, you read that right), some lobster tails. I could feel my blood sugar rushing up, but the mimosas and grey goose had me feeling good. I refused to check my blood sugar all weekend. I knew it would be insane.

I checked it this morning and got a dose of reality. Also, I got on the scale, and I had gained 5 lbs since the last time I checked. F*CK YOU diabetes and carbs. Why did they have to make something that tastes so damn good and brought me so much pleasure be the one thing that is killing me?

Anywho, it’s a new month, and I’m moving on. My blood sugar was ridiculous last month when I even checked it. My current monthly average is 166, so my goal is to get that down to the 150s, at least. Maybe I can even lose the 5lbs I had gained?

One last thing, I started a Tik Tok! Check this out. More to come soon!

I love pizza, but I can’t have it anymore. And I keep seeing these advertisements on TV and from pizza places that make things called pizza bowls. So I wanted to try to make my own pizza bowls.

I took some leftover caramelized onions, Rao’s tomato sauce, ground beef, and peppers that I had sauteed. I added some parmesan cheese and Mexican cheese. I put that all together, and then I put it in the oven and baked it at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes.

What I loved about this was that you can pretty much turn any leftover into a pizza bowl. Leftover veggies, throw it in there. Leftover mealy, throw it in there. You get the picture. The thing is, it really does taste like a pizza, without the crust. I will definitely be doing this again.

All ingredients except cheese.
Parmesan and Mexican cheese added.
After being cooked in the oven.

I had a panic attack the other day when I checked my blood sugar, and it was 330. I really don’t want to tell you all this; it’s embarrassing, and let’s be honest, this is a blog about being diabetic, so I need to be completely honest with you about what is going on in my life. I have to stop eating sweets. I just have to. There is no way that I will continue to be off the medication that I want to be off. If I don’t just take care of myself. And it’s really that easy of a situation. So, I’m working really hard and making sure that I’m not eating any carbs. And I’m just going to do this. It’s difficult when you want to partake in the same activities as everyone else. My husband woke up on election morning and asked if I wanted donuts. I said yes. It turned into a disaster of a day for me. Not because of the election but because I ate a donut and a croissant sandwich.

So I bought myself a Fitbit, and I spent, pretty much the whole week, walking around my apartment like a fool. And I’m going to continue to do that. And then, I will continue to work on fasting, eating as low carb as possible; it’s going to be difficult because I have people coming over and friends that want to hang out. But I just need to do my best to stay as true to myself as possible because I really want to do this, and it’s been a struggle. And I’m going to check in with you guys more often. I’m going to post more pictures and do my daily check-ins, and hopefully, that will make things better and easier.

Thank you so much for supporting me here on this site, and there will be more to come. I know I go through these phases, and I keep telling you that I’m going to do this, but this is the time that I just have to. I had a goal that I wanted my A1C to be down to like 6.5 the next time I go to the doctor, and if I keep going the way that I’m going, it’s not going to be that way. I can tell you that to take your blood sugar and see that it’s 330 is mind-numbing, shocking, upsetting. I can’t continue to let that happen. I’m not going to continue to let that happen. So, anyway, thank you all for your support, and I will do better, and be better, and record things better, and make sure that you all are in the loop, because that’s the reason that I pay for the site so that I can have support, and if I don’t use it there’s just no point.

I know better, and I must do better.

I’m so mad at myself. I thought I would take the day and celebrate the inauguration; my husband asked if I wanted anything from this donut place called ‘Winchells,’ I said yes. I got a large apple fritter and a croissant with bacon, egg, and cheese.

I checked my blood sugar in the middle of the day, and it was horrendous. I’m not even going to tell you what it was; that’s how embarrassing.

I was able to get it down by pounding water, so I did that. Then I made dinner, which was incredible. It was a roast with asparagus and peppers.

You all know that I know better than this. So, from now on, I’m posting here, and I’m focusing on doing better.

This haiku about carbs is perfect. I have a friend coming over tonight with a pasta dinner. I said yes to this because I figured I would just not eat most of the day and then try to not eat too much.

Too much food

I fasted most of the day yesterday and then ate this steak. My stomach started hurting and I just kept going. I eat like I’m never going to eat again. I need to think differently about food.

Lemon Pepper Wings
Lemon Pepper Wings

This weekend we had pizza and wings. We had a customer service snafu, so this pizza place offered us free pizza. I could not turn that down, could I?

10:56 AM

I told myself that I would have tea during the week and coffee on the weekends. Today was a coffee day and I did not restrict myself. I desperately need to hydrate though because all I’ve had today is coffee, and it’s almost noon.

2:18 PM

Our friend cancelled on the pasta dinner, but I still may make it for us, since we have the ingredients.


I made penne and tomato sauce, with a salad, and garlic bread. I was still hungry at the end of the night, so I made myself a mug cake with a very little of ice cream.


I finished my fast at exactly twenty hours.

That’s it! That was my day. I’m going to do my best to write more to you all.

It’s time for a new year, and while I’m excited about it I feel like we should all slowly, cautiously glide into this year. Let’s not say anything about it being the best year ever, let’s just let it be what it will be. Last year I was all like ‘New decade, new me.’ We saw what that did.

The last two food days have been nuts. Yesterday, we had crab, shrimp, cranberry and Brie bread, potatoes, and brownies. Today we were exhausted. I went to bed at 2 am this morning, so today was just a relaxed day. We may have had Wendy’s but no judging. I’m getting back on the wagon on Monday. I’m going to go back to intermittent fasting and being as keto as possible.

I hope you had a great new year! Expect a lot more check in’s this year!

There are fewer things in life right now that make me happier than this rack of pork from Costco. At Thanksgiving, my husband and I went on a search for them. We asked the butcher at Costco if he thought they were going to be available this year, and he said no. Last year was the first year I discovered it, sitting there on the selves of our beloved Costco. It looked seasoned like a pro, ready to just be put in the oven and enjoyed. It looked like a rack that you didn’t want to take the time to do on your own, so I was very excited to only have to put it in the oven. Then we got home, cooked it, sliced it and it was perfection.

Yesterday, my husband sent me a Facebook message. Yes, we were in the same room, how we communicate is none of your business. One of our friends, who lives in Temecula, which is about two hours from here, had the rack. We immediately sprung into action, we disregarded any human needs, like showers, coffee, etc., and got into the car. We decided we would try a different Costco than our normal one. This one is less crowded, and they had better chances of having it. We entered the store we started looking at all the shiny objects up front. There is very little that gets me more excited than seeing ’noise-canceling blue tooth headphones.’ We looked at Sony, Bose, etc. My dream one of these days is to afford those new AirPods Maxes.

Out of the corner of my I looked down into a strangers cart, don’t worry friends, I kept a safe distance, and she didn’t see me. I saw what looked like a rack in the correct container. “We have to run.” I said to my husband. We don’t run. We are not running people. We didn’t run, but we picked up our step a little. I looked in the case but I saw a beef roast, it was not the one I was looking for.

“Is this it?” He asked.

“Look at the price?” The price was approx. $150 for the roast. I motioned to keep looking. “We have to find the pork section.” I said. We kept looking. Then I saw it. A woman had her cart next to all of my racks. My Racks! I’ve been waiting months to get my hands on these racks. She left and I slid in as quick as I could. The reality of how many racks I wanted to get and the amount of money in my bank account, and room in or freezer did not match up. I wished I was back on my grandparents farm where they had a stand-alone freezer, I would have gotten one of those flatbed carts and bought all of the racks. Now that I’m thinking, maybe next year I need to start a GoFundMe for these. I picked out three racks of pork, two were for us and one was for my mother-in-law.

A few minutes later we were at Von’s, the grocery store. We went down the rice, aisle. I know, I know, I’m diabetic and shouldn’t be having rice. We stumbled upon the rice-a-roni! When I’m feeling down, sick, or just missing my mother I love to get broccoli rice au gratin. It’s delicious and inexpensive. Usually, they have deals where you can get five boxes for like five dollars. We searched, but they didn’t have exactly what I wanted. I went to my trust google and googled recipes for it. It turns out that it is not only rice but it has orzo pasta in it too. We bought the frozen cauliflower rice at Costco, so what if I used that instead of orzo. We did buy some elbow macaroni, so I could make mac and cheese for my husband for Christmas, and since we were in the pasta section I looked at the grams of carbs in orzo and it was something like 42 grams. I was already letting myself have rice, at least I could lessen the carbs by using cauliflower for some of it.

When we got home I messaged a friend who lives in the same building and asked her if she wanted to taste my rack……of pork. I told her to be over around 5:30 pm. I looked at my watch, it said this roast would take almost two hours, so I put the oven on three hundred and twenty-five degrees, put my Meater thermometer in and put it in the oven.

Costco Rack of Pork
Costco Rack of Pork

Then I chopped half an onion and sautéed that with three cloves of garlic in about a tablespoon of butter. Meanwhile, I cooked two cups of rice in a pot. I then added in one package frozen cauliflower rice in the onion and garlic mixture. I sautéed that for a bit and added finely chopped broccoli to the pan. Once the rice was done I added it, chicken broth, half and half and cream cheese and I stirred it all until it got to a thick consistency, then I dumped in some grated Tillamook sharp cheddar.

Broccoli rice au gratin
Broccoli rice au gratin

As soon as the roast came out of the oven I let it rest. The Meater thermometer tells you exactly how long the meat should rest to reach your desired temperature. While the meat was resting, I put the roast in a pan and put it in the oven, but turned the heat off. I just wanted to keep it warm.

Once the meat was done resting I sliced it and voilà, we had dinner! It was everything it was cracked up to be. I’m so glad we found it, now our next mission is to empty as much as we can out of the freezer, so we can go and buy more!

Pork loin and broccoli rice au gratin
Pork loin and broccoli rice au gratin

Clearly, by looking at the graph below, I let myself go a little bit last week. That average number is way too high and I need to do something about that this week.

Week ending 12/12
Week ending 12/12

Lunch today was leftovers from the last few days.

Chicken legs, pork and left over salad.
Chicken legs, pork and left over salad.

I downloaded Apple Fitness Plus, which was released today. I tried two of the workouts, a strength training one and more of a cardio one. I have a free month so I’m going to try it out.

I checked my sugar around 4 pm and it was 129. I was happy about that.

For dinner, I made steak with a cauliflower rice casserole and peppers. I cooked the steak and the peppers in the air fryer.

Steak with cauliflower casserole and peppers.
Steak with cauliflower casserole and peppers.

Today’s average was better than the previous days. I did have a small cup of ice cream with sugar-free Reese’s peanut butter cups. I know, I shouldn’t have but I did.

12/14 Blood Sugar
12/14 Blood Sugar

That’s it! Stay safe, until tomorrow.

I meant to write yesterday but zoom Christmas Parties, and hours of shopping got in the way. The night ended with more than a little bit of vodka and singing Broadway show tunes. I mean, every evening should end that way, right?

For dinner last night we had marinated chicken legs from Costco and broccoli that I added oil and ranch seasoning to.  

We found sugar free Reese’s peanut butter cups. I chopped them up and put them in a cup of ice cream. I thought if I used a coffee mug maybe I’d eat less ice cream than if I used a bowl.

At our happy hour last night a friend gave me the mug. No, we are not having a kid. It was a joke because of my dog.

When you go to Target do you ever just come home with what was on your list? We sure didn’t yesterday. We got a little tree, hats, and this egg cooker. It cooks eggs every way, omelets, poached, and hard-boiled eggs.

I poached eggs for myself but I cooked them too long. When I cooked my husband’s omelet it wasn’t long enough, so I thought I’d add more time. I was wrong. Oh, and we also found this keto bread at Costco. I really wanted toast with my eggs so we got it. It was okay.

As you can see in the picture below you can see that it was overdone.

Tonight I cooked pork loin and I made a salad with the leftover broccoli from last night, tomato, peppers, and an Italian dressing from Olive Garden.

My blood sugar was okay yesterday, as you can see below. Today’s numbers were high, because of the ice cream I bet.

12/12 Blood Sugar

Stay safe, more tomorrow!

Can you believe it’s the 11th of December?  I sure can’t!  I had a good day today, a quick day at work and then I worked on some writing.  And then!!!!!!  We watched ’The Prom’ on Netflix.  Man, do I miss the theater.  I was an emotional mess for some reason.  I think my husband thought something was wrong with me. 

I had two small tuna fish salad wraps, then some meat and cheese, and then for dinner we had Chinese food.  I didn’t want to cook because we were wanted to watch the movie and I had a happy hour after work.

My sugar was a little better today, as you see from below.
Tomorrow we have another happy hour, some shopping to do and that is it! 
Stay safe, until tomorrow.
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