I often have dreams as soon as I fall asleep. I always go to bed before my husband; although I try to stay awake to say goodnight to him, I often don’t make it. I dreamt that someone was trying to get into our apartment while we were sitting there watching tv. I woke up shaking and disorientated. I think that started my night off to be a bad sleep. I woke up multiple times and was tired all day.

I’m, of course, telling you all this to set you up for the fact that I missed my walk today. I also ate some little cheesecake bites at lunch. It was a very strange need for sugar.

For lunch, I made some teriyaki wings with carrots on the side. I made them in the air fryer. They were frozen wings; I love how they come out. Yes, I know there is sugar in teriyaki sauce and carrots, ugh.

Teriyaki wings and carrots
Cheese cake bites.

I had real issues with deciding what to make for dinner. I’m working hard on not wasting anything because money is very tight, pandemic and all. So, I took some leftover chicken and made a taco chicken salad with lettuce, carrots, tomato, peppers, cheddar cheese, chicken, and thousand island dressing.

Chicken Taco Salad

I’m going to share today’s numbers tomorrow. I want to take my blood sugar right before bed today.

Stay safe! Until tomorrow!

Today was a much better day than yesterday. Except, I did not sleep as well last night as I would have liked to. I woke up with a bit of a backache, but that is not unusual. Oh, and I have occasional shooting pains in my sides. Damn, I’m so dramatic. I think I’m fine. The worst it would be is diverticulitis, but I don’t think it’s that.

For lunch we ordered from Mike’s Deli. It’s my favorite. I got the today’s special, it had roast beef, turkey, cheese, pickles, avocado, tomato, honey mustard and Mayo. It was perfect.

Mike’s Deli Sandwich

It took everything in me, I felt like I was attached to the couch, but I convinced myself to get up and go for a walk. I went on a little different route than yesterday, and it was great.

12/8 Walk

There was this pork loin at Costco last year that I loved! We cannot find it this year, at least not yet, but I wanted to try to recreate it. I don’t know that I did, but this pork roast that I made was delicious. I used a beef and pork seasoning that I bought plus a woodfired garlic seasoning. I put it in the air fryer at 300 degrees for about an hour or so.

Pork Roast

I served it with squash that I added a garlic parmesan seasoning and cornstarch. I hoped that it would turn out to fry them they would come out crispy. I should have cooked them at a higher temperature.

Pork roast, Applesauce and squash

This is where I’m embarrassed. I don’t want to show you yesterday’s numbers, but I am. This was the promise, right? I think it reflected the sugar I ate from the day before and the stress from yesterday. I’m also showing my numbers from today, so you can see that today was much better.

12/7 Reading
12/8 Reading

That’s it! Thanks for reading. Until tomorrow!

I told you all that I would write a post every day, and dammit, I’m going to do it. You all need to see the good, the bad, and the ugly. I had a cocktail at 3:45 pm today. I didn’t drink alone; I’m not that sad. I’ve been kind of a mess, as you read yesterday. I’m not going to get into it, but I want to wrap myself in a blanket, with the fire roaring, and not come out until this pandemic is over.

Vodka soda.

BUT, I did make a new goal. I promised myself that I would leave the house and walk 1 mile. I did that today. It was one of the first times I’ve gone outside in awhile. It helps me, and I need to make sure I do it every day.

12/7 Walk

We had leftovers for dinner tonight, and I’m skipping the dessert. We had ribs, chicken, salad, and a cauliflower casserole.

Leftover Monday.

I have to admit, my blood sugar average yesterday was a nightmare. I had dessert, are things I shouldn’t, etc. I’m embarrassed even to show you this.

12/6/20 Blood Sugar.

Until tomorrow! Stay safe!

My stomach is making noises like it’s warming up to be a member of a symphony orchestra. It’s a direct result of an inexpensive blend of red wine, ribs, cookies, ice cream, a cauliflower casserole, and finally, some delicious champagne we had last night. We had a friend who lives on the property over for dinner. We consider her a part of our household bubble because she doesn’t go anywhere except for walks. If she goes shopping at the store a lot of the time, it’s with us. These are bizarre times; every action makes you feel like you have the potential to either get a life-threatening virus or be judged for living. I steer clear of discussing any of this online if I can because it’s just become such a difficult topic.

Between the election, the virus, and the divide we feel between each other, it’s a struggle. Please don’t flood me with comments. I’m just venting here. And, honestly, I don’t know who is right or who is wrong. All I know is that I have diabetes, and I have to be safe. We all have to do what is suitable for ourselves. I will say that I do find myself extremely sad most days for the state of the world. I feel like my relationships with people are changing or have changed. I haven’t figured out how to grapple with it yet, but I imagine that many of us are feeling this way. I do find myself doing a lot of soul searching lately. In some form or another, we are all going to have to reinvent ourselves. This year has changed us.

That said, I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but I’m not writing every day, and I’m going to change that, starting with this blog. I’m going to check in with you every day. I know, I’ve probably said that a million times, but this is the time I’m doing it. (Hopefully.) I sat here this morning thinking to myself, you have this blog about being a diabetic, but you’re not writing anything. What is the point? Then, I look at my emails, and I keep seeing that people are reading, following, and liking my posts, so this is the time to do it.

One thing I do have to talk about every day is my blood sugar levels, so let’s start there. Yesterday was not the best day. I’ve been allowing myself to enjoy cookies and ice cream as of late. But, I’m also making a rule where I’m going to try to not each anything each day until my sugar is below 130. If that means I have to fast until later in the day, then I will do.

Saturday 12/5

Also, let’s make Sunday be our weekly check-in day. My average blood sugar range was a little high this week. Honestly, I’ve let myself go a bit because I just got my A1C reading. I know I shouldn’t, but we all do it. And, with the holidays, it’s bound not to be that easy the next few weeks.

Week ending 12/5

My quarterly results are still good, though. The number is still going down, so if that’s the case, then I’m not going to worry too much about day by day, for now. I’m moving in the right direction!

Quarterly Stats as of 12/5

I can tell you about this casserole I made yesterday. Before the night turned into a shit show of debauchery, I was trying to be good. I made this casserole by sautéing half an onion, two or three cloves of garlic in some olive oil, then I added three packages of frozen cauliflower rice and cooked it down. After that was done, I added cream cheese, sour cream, butter, and shredded cheddar and stirred that in. I then finished by adding two eggs that I had scrambled to the mixture. Then I added it to this pan, and I cooked it in the oven until the top was golden brown, about thirty minutes or so at four hundred degrees.

Cauliflower Casserole, before the oven.

Who doesn’t love a good taco? I mean, I live in Los Angeles, where every Tuesday is Taco Tuesday. There are two things I’ve learned about people in Los Angeles, they love their taco Tuesday and weekend brunch is a sport. If I had realized this earlier in life, I would have just skipped everything else and moved right out here. What is better than an authentic taco or bottomless mimosas?

Ever since I’ve been diagnosed with diabetes and I’m trying to take care of myself I have to curb the tacos and mimosas. For mimosa’s I’ve just stopped putting the sugary orange juice in them and just had the champagne. But, I had not found a good substitute for taco’s, until now. My husband found a place called ‘Mr. Tortilla’ that advertised that they had low carb tacos, 1 net carb per taco. We don’t usually drive out to the valley for anything if we can avoid it, but a taco seemed fitting. Also, pandemic traffic is a lot lighter.

We made a quick pit stop in the store because we needed fresh cilantro, sour cream, and tomatoes for these tacos. We had the rest of the ingredients at home. I took one onion, one red pepper, and one yellow pepper and chopped them up. I sauteed the onion until it was translucent in olive oil and then added the peppers. Then I cut up two cloves of garlic and added it to the pan along with Kinders Taco Seasoning. The last thing I did was add the juice of one lime.

I took some leftover turkey that I chopped up, the juice from one lime and taco seasoning, and warmed it up in a pan.

To make this crema, I took approximately a cup and a half of sour cream, a whole avocado, a bunch of cilantro, the juice of one lime, two cloves of garlic, and I buzzed it in the food processor.

Then I put it all together! I put tacos in the bottom, then peppers and onions, turkey, some shredded sharp cheddar cheese, diced Roma tomatoes, and a dab of crema. Then I garnished it with some fresh cilantro.

Thanksgiving was a little different this year for most of us. Instead of going out, we stayed at home; we had one neighbor who lives in the building join us. We knew she was safe, and we consider her in our pod. I thought we were going to order food, but it ended up that my husband got some free food from work, which helped out a lot. So, I cooked a turkey. I ended up dry brining the turkey for a few days, but I started it when it was frozen. When I took the turkey out of the fridge on Thanksgiving morning, it was still frozen!!!! Luckily, I woke up at 7 am that morning, just out of habit. I decided that I would put it in the oven and cook it low and slow.

I’m not sure if I’ve told you about my Meater, it’s the most amazing device. It’s a thermometer that I put in the meat, and then you program it to cook to a certain doneness or temperature. Then it tells you how long you have to cook it, and it will notify you when it should come out of the oven.

Meater

I ended up cooking the turkey from about 8am to 2ish. I cooked it low and slow but turned it up a little bit towards the end. I just wanted to make sure that it came out, not raw. I didn’t want a turkey gate 2020. But, the dry brine came out beautifully; I may do it that way from now on.

While the bird was cooking, I prepped everything else. We decided to make this easy since I was the only one cooking. The mac & cheese came from Costco. The stuffing was from a packet, but I added sausage, onions, carrots, celery, garlic, and chicken stock. I made the sprouts in the air fryer by just adding some ranch dressing seasoning to them. We got the white yams, which I don’t like, I love the orange sweet potatoes. I tried to air fry the yams, but they just didn’t taste good, so I put them in the food processor and made them mashed yams with cream, butter, and cinnamon. They were delicious. Then I made the gravy with Xanthan gum. I followed this keto recipe, pretty much. I have to say, I was really impressed with how well it thickened things up. I need to explore more recipes using it.

Final Thanksgiving Plate

In case you didn’t know, I’m a hypochondriac; any time I have a sore throat, headache, etc., I think I’m dying.   I pretty much let myself have what I wanted, except last night, after making the most delicious turkey sandwich with potato bread for lunch, I took my sugar, and it was really high.  It was 227, which is awful.  I really wanted a piece of apple pie but knew I couldn’t with my sugar that high, and I was hungry.  First, I drank a ton of water, and I got it down to 180.  Then I ate a plate of turkey and Brussel sprouts with some shrimp, and an hour after that, I was down in the 160’s so I let myself have that piece of apple pie and some ice cream. I haven’t taken my sugar yet this morning, but I know that it will be a little high until I get some water in me.

Turkey, shrimp, and veggies.

Yes, this Thanksgiving was different, but I’m a homebody. I prefer a chill time at home, not having to be anywhere, no pressure on when to have food ready. I hope this thanksgiving you were able to embrace the calmness.

Every person with diabetes that I know cheats after they’ve gotten their A1C read. It just is a matter of fact. The same is true for me. A week and a half ago, I got my blood work done, and then I decided that I wanted to cheat a little. In the week since then, I’ve had Five Guys, Chinese food, Mac & Cheese, Costco pizza. I’m sure there is more that I’m missing but let’s just leave it at that.

Okay, so there is good news. My A1C the last time I had it checked in July was 7.6; my reading this time was 6.7! That is excellent news; the diet is working! I think I need to make my next goal to get my A1C down to 6.5 and then to keep it there. I have a meeting with my doctor tomorrow to go over my blood work, so I’ll potentially have more news about it then. I’m hoping that he doesn’t want me to go on medication because I don’t want to. I want to keep it under control on my own. I’m hoping that maybe I can strike that deal that I keep it under 6.5. We will see.

Since I realize it’s been a long time since I’ve written, let me chat about a few of my favorite things that I’ve cooked. Have you ever made scrambled eggs with cream cheese? If not, you should. It makes the eggs creamier (duh), and it just enhances the texture. I love a soft scrambled egg; you can mess it up if you scramble eggs for too long, in my opinion. Below you’ll see the scramble I made yesterday. I started by cutting up some bacon, cooking it in the pan, and then draining it, then I added some onions to the pan, a little bit of butter and cooked those down. Next, I added some tomatoes; I had the onions and tomatoes cut up from another dish (the cauliflower below). Then my eggs, that I had scrambled and added Everything but the Bagel Seasoning too. I added little pieces of Philadelphia Cream Cheese and lightly scrambled the eggs before adding some Tillamook Cheddar Cheese and some salt. I started to buy the cheese in a big chunk and then shred it myself. I think it saves on freshness, and I waste less. I put the final product in a bowl and then added a little bit of the seasoning on top.

Scrambled Eggs with cream cheese

One of my other favorite things that I made was this sauteed shrimp with cheesy cauliflower. To make the cauliflower, I diced an onion, red pepper, a few cloves of garlic and then sauteed them in a little bit of butter. Once they were slightly translucent, I added three packages of frozen riced cauliflower. I made a huge amount because I wanted leftovers for the next night. I let the cauliflower cook down until most of the liquid was gone. All along, I added seasonings, a cilantro lime seasoning, but you could add whatever you wanted. Then I added some heavy cream, probably 4 oz of cream cheese, and cooked that for a few minutes. Then I added a handful of sharp cheddar cheese. For the shrimp, I sauteed them in Kinders Seafood Seasoning.

Shrimp with cheesy cauliflower

This fried chicken below was probably my favorite thing. Who doesn’t like fried chicken? I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to make it in the air fryer. We bought an abundance of cornstarch from Costco a while ago, and I figured out that this is an excellent way to use it. I started this chicken, thinking that I would make it a jerk chicken. A friend had given me jerk seasoning a long time ago, and I hadn’t finished using it. So, I put the chicken in a ziplock bag, and I buzzed up some fresh garlic, jerk seasoning, and some lemon and lime juice. I let that marinate for four or five hours, and then when it came time to cook the chicken, decided to try the cornstarch method. I patted the chicken dry, then I put it in a bowl with some olive oil and a few tablespoons of cornstarch and mixed it around. Then I cooked it in the air fryer for 20 minutes, turning it twice. When the chicken was cooked, I served it with the leftover cheesy cauliflower.

Fried chicken with cheesy cauliflower

That’s it. I think you are caught up for now. I’ll be better about writing here. It’s pointless to have a blog and not blog.

The sun is shining; I have a fire going; my coffee is right next to me. It’s a good day. This week has been a struggle. I’ve been eating pretty much whatever I want, not walking, staring at the TV. Now that we have a president, I feel like life can move on.

Yesterday I was terrible. We ordered a giant pizza, a Caesar salad, pasta, fried ravioli, then some Ben & Jerry’s and cookies. In my past life, I would have eaten until I couldn’t eat anymore. At least yesterday, I felt like I was slightly under control. Here is the thing, the carbs make me tired. As much as I love them, I know that I can’t handle them the way I used to.

Pesto, chicken and basil pizza.
Fried ravioli, caesar salad, pasta.

I made a promise that I wasn’t going to eat this crap anymore, and always when I do, I don’t feel great. I was going to write this long blog post about a friend who keeps bringing carbs in the house, a woo is me, post about how they don’t understand the struggle. I don’t feel like I can do that anymore. It would be hypocritical of me. So, I need to give myself at least a week without carbs before I can complain about anyone else.

Here is the thing, it’s so easy to want to celebrate because of winning an election, or a birthday, wedding, etc.  I know that I can’t do that anymore.  Now I’m sitting here, afraid to check my blood sugar because I know it is way higher than it should be.  Ignoring the problem doesn’t solve anything, but it sure is fucking nice sometimes.  That’s what people don’t understand.  When the birthday, election, a party is over, and the friends leave the house, the diabetes is still here.  It never goes away.  Yes, one horrible blood sugar reading is not going to kill me, but they are cumulative, so if I don’t get myself under control as quickly as possible, it may kill me.  Does that make sense?  

I’ve turned this into a ranting piece, which I didn’t mean to do. Here is the other thing, I know I’m not working as hard as I should. I should be posting on this blog and Instagram every day. I should be taking care of myself every day. I know I’ve said this before, but when you all don’t hear from me, it means that I’m letting myself go. I’ve put all of these things into place, but I’m not using them. That is my fault. I have to stop doing that. I will stop doing that. Okay, here is to move on. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Today is a new, better day!

It’s been a challenge of a day. I’ve been tired, lazy, and my sugar has been high. I’m not surprised; I ate cookies and ice cream last night. The election has got everyone on edge. We have never had an election here in the US where people are boarding up businesses for fear of violence.

Today was much about self-care. I read, sat on the couch, and made myself drink a gallon of liquid. That will be my challenge for the rest of the week.

Last night we had people over to watch election results. I made tri-tip that I cooked in the sous vide for seven hours, and then I seared it on the stove. Then I used the ninja foodi to grill peppers and asparagus. That was all wonderful. Then I felt like I needed sugar, so our friends went to the store to get cookie dough and ice cream. I baked the cookies, and we ate ice cream.

11/4/20 Blood Sugar

I have to start putting in the work. I know yesterday was a different day because of the election, but I can’t make excuses. My health is the most important thing. So, here is to more of that.

More tomorrow!

We went to San Diego yesterday for my sister-in-laws birthday celebration. There is a fantastic restaurant called Puesto that they wanted to go to. Their tacos are incredible, and I was so impressed that they had a lettuce wrap option for the taco’s so I could still eat right. The only thing that sucked was that I sat on gum, and it ruined my pants, so I had to go and buy sixty dollar shorts across the way; money is tight, so that sucked.

Puesto Tacos

We went and walked around the seaport before we ate lunch. There was a seafood market; I desperately wish that we had packed a cooler cause we would have gone home with some fresh seafood.

Fishing boat

I’m considering making a rule where I have to walk at least one mile a day. I have a friend that does the same thing with running and it’s motivating.

San Diego Walk

I love my sugr. It’s an app that you can use to keep track of your diabetes. I don’t get it for free because my Dr. uses One Touch but I downloaded and am using it myself. It gives you a good picture of your day, and you can put any information in there that you want. So, I think maybe I’ll start posting my daily log from there from now on.

I had Taco’s, chips, guac and salsa for lunch. For dinner, I had a burger on a lettuce wrap from Five Guys and a leftover taco from Puesto that a friend gave me. I was psyched when I got home and my sugar was 98!

Daily Log

More later!

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